“You are a Shepherd.”
“You are a man of influence.”
“You are a fighter for peace.”
“The Lord made you to be like a willow tree planted by the water, to be both strong and graceful, and a resting place for others, as you stretch your roots deep into His love.”
“You have an anointing over your life that I could not help but get excited over. You’re going to lead many to Jesus and he is going to refine you in this area as well. He wants to use you, all you have to do is wake up and say yes. Die to yourself constantly, choose joy as often as possible, and don’t limit God.”
“One thing I so admire about you is your constant answer of yes to God. He directs and you 100% agree. Keep listening to God as you are now and you go so far with him! Oh wow the things God can and will do through a yes man…”
“The Lord is proud of your leadership.”
These are all words that have been spoken over me throughout the last 5 years. Many of these came through dear friends or mentors, some directly through the Holy Spirit, and some were prophetic words from people I hardly knew at all.
I first realized the call to ministry that the Lord had placed on my life at the age of 15. I was given the beautiful chance to go for 8 weeks on a mission trip to Italy and Greece. In this time overseas, the Father rocked my world with his love for me, with some of the most incredible friendships I’ve had even to this day, and with the depths of his heart for every person in all the world to encounter his redeeming love. It was in this time that the Spirit first showed me that my life was to be set apart for the Gospel.
On July 13, 2014, I wrote these words in my journal:
“Missions work is definitely where God wants me. I’ve heard Matthew 9:37 so many times, about the harvest being plentiful, and the workers being few. And I’ve felt a sort of stirring, like the Lord telling me that it is me who needs to be a worker. It’s never been more clear that this is where God wants me. I finally gave my whole life up to God, giving Him the opportunity to put me where He wants me.
“I told my leader Grace about this, and she was so thrilled. She said to hold to this commitment, because once you commit to that, God will start doing things with it.
“God, wherever you want me, whoever you want me with, I’ll do it. I give you my whole life—all my plans, hopes, and dreams. if I only have one chance on earth, why not live it for you? Please Lord, give me the chance to serve you; not just when I’m older, but now. I just pray that you would use me; all I am is yours.”
Over the last 5 years, this longing I’ve had for the Father and his heart has deepened and grown as I’ve gotten to see his Kingdom come in so many ways. While I was on the World Race, I discovered how deeply I long to disciple others and lead people deep into the Father’s love, out of shame, fear, and isolation. I had the opportunity to serve as a team leader on the field, and had the most beautiful space to explore what leadership and discipleship look like.
My leaders were such a part of this journey; they saw me, cared for me, loved me at my worst, challenged me, reminded me who I am, and never gave up on me. I tried a lot of new things, failed a lot, and learned more than I ever imagined.
Last fall, you all supported me in profound ways as I made the decision to move to Georgia for the chance to enter a leadership and discipleship school at the Center for Global Action. CGA was one of the most joyful seasons I’ve ever had, and I surrendered the temptation for leadership to become my identity. I’ve learned that who I am is Abba’s son, and that nothing I could do will ever add to that.
I am more at peace with myself and more unashamedly confident than I’ve ever been before. That confidence has led to me taking the first half of 2019 to just rediscover what it is to rest, to do normal life again here in Gainesville without any of the requirements of vocational ministry. It’s been a beautiful time of rest, stillness, and learning to be loved for who I am before I ever do a thing for the Lord.
For nearly 2 years now, I’ve had the dream of leading missionaries on the field and walking with them as they step deeper and deeper into the arms of the Father. You’ve watched as that desire has stirred in me, reminded me when I’ve forgotten, and given me the ability to nurture that gifting.
Now, I’ve been given the incredible opportunity to watch these dreams unfold.
This summer, I will be returning to Nepal with Adventures in Missions as a trip leader for Ambassador, a 3-week trip for 14-18 year-old students. I can’t wait to be a part of these high schooler’s lives as God forms their hearts and shows them His face in powerful ways. These young men and women have made the beautiful decision to give up nearly a month of their school break for the sake of bringing the love of Jesus to Nepal, and I couldn’t be more excited to be a part of what God will do in them as they feed the hungry, bind up the brokenhearted, and bring God’s Kingdom to this part of the world.
If that’s not beautiful enough, one of the guys I’ll have the opportunity to lead, Jared Snodgrass, is a good friend from my home church in Castle Rock, Colorado. Seriously, how cool the Lord’s timing is, that after 2 years out of Colorado, the two of us will get to represent the same church family in Nepal. WHAT. ON. EARTH!
For this trip, I’ve been asked to fundraise $2,347. This is half the cost that the trip participants raise, and will help to cover the team’s airfare, food, and lodging for the month. Here’s the breakdown: If 24 people commit to giving $25 monthly for 4 months, I’ll be fully funded! If you have any questions about how to give, contact me via email at [email protected]
As always, thank you for encouraging me to always run hard after Christ and to continue saying yes to whatever he lays before me. This is a dream that God’s been growing for years, and it’s all thanks to you for stewarding it well that it’s now becoming a reality. You amaze me time and time again. Thank you for continuing on the journey with me and sticking by me though everything the Lord has done. You have shown me the Father’s heart so many times, and I can’t wait to continue understanding more and more of this love that surpasses knowledge.
